Sometimes God gives us what we ask for even when we’re not really sure it’s what we want. I asked Him over and over to only open the doors for the right job – so I could be in the place that He wanted me in. I also asked for a job that would allow me to move to a new city and have big adventures. I just never thought those adventures would begin with a move back to Colorado.
As of this point I am 90% sure I am moving back to Colorado Springs for a few months. I was laid off from Showdown last friday and finally decided that I just don’t want to fight to stay in Nashville any longer. I’m giving it two weeks to find a new real job here in town but if that doesn’t happen – I’m out. I’ve sought a lot of council, talked to many people, cried, yelled, and prayed for the doors to open.
My heart is at peace. I fought and fought and fought the idea of moving back in with my parents but it was only because I was worried what people would think. And then I finally stopped caring what people thought and decided to do what is best for me. What’s best for me is taking the next few months and retreating to a place where my soul can be cared for, I’ll get to spend some time with my family, save a lot of money and get myself on my feet financially before I launch into the next season.
Truthfully, I’m terrified of moving back to Colorado Springs. Some of my worst years were spent in that city – in the room I’m moving back into. But as my wise mother said, “Sometimes when you run away from something, the Lord will bring you right back to face it so you can move on.” So I’m going back, with an apprehensive but peaceful spirit. My time in Nashville has been beyond what I could have hoped for. I had experiences that my 15 year old self would have FREAKED out over 🙂 I had fantastic community, my relationship with Christ became REAL, I met my first love and had my first heartbreak, I learned how to be an adult, I learned how to serve a community, I watched my friends fall in love, get married and have babies, I started to figure out who I was, I met my best friends who will walk through life with me regardless of where we are geographically. Nashville took me from being a girl to being a woman. I’m ready for this chapter. I’m ready to see how He continues to write my story.
He is Faithful