Paupers and Princesses

Tonight I had the privilege of speaking at the first night of our young women’s community group. I talked about how we are new creations in Christ. The old has gone and the new has come. I rambled and bumbled my way through what I was trying to say – looking into the eyes of around thirty women. I so desperately wanted them to understand this beautiful message of Grace, of what it looks like to live this. Yet all I felt I did was confuse and distance them. I’m a mess. I’m a certifiable mess with nothing of my own to offer. Tonight more than ever I felt the profound impact of my messiness. Who am I to tell these girls how I’m living as a new creation? My car broke down, my fish died, I’m terrible at relationships and only hurt the ones I love, I’m too much drama, and not enough sense. What do I have to offer? Nothing. I have nothing to offer except a disfigured vessel that can only run to the Father for wisdom. I’m not used to having nothing to offer. At least, I’ve always perceived I have something to offer. Be it a listening ear, time for a coffee date, or a smile – I felt confident in my ability to bring something to the table. Now, to be honest, I’m terrified. My mask is off and my messiness is there for all to see. I want to be like other girls – mysterious and flirty. A puzzle to figure out and a damsel to be won. And yet for whatever reason, the Lord has called me to take off my mask and live out of my raw skin. The beauty and the blemishes, the good and the bad, the charming and the revolting. All of it. For the world to see. I feel like I’ve been revealed for the phony that I am – as a pauper masquerading as a princess. In the midst of it all, though, I feel the love of the King. I feel His tender gaze and the warmth of His covering. There is no shame in coming before Him as a pauper. There is no shame in the weakness and the messiness. There is no shame. So now begins the process of that covering being enough to define me. I am covered by the King.The love of a King has transformed me. It’s time to live like that.

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6 thoughts on “Paupers and Princesses

  1. Rach,

    This is an awesome blog. Funny way to start this, I know, but you were completely honest and open in this and I love that! You are exactly right, there is no shame in weakness and messiness. Messiness is what sometimes gets me from one day to the other and then I look back and I’m like, “ohhhh, I see what you did there-very cool God, thanks!” Consider it sometimes that maybe your life looks more like abstract art than a paint by numbers kit. It may not feel right while you’re walking through it, but then if you step back and look at it from a different angle you can see the beauty and awesomeness in it. πŸ™‚ You did a great job leading tonight, I know how it can feel like you bumbled your way through, but trust me, God used you tonight to get His point across. I think you will find that “taking off your mask” and showing your “beauty and blemishes” is what will make you real with people and that, my friend, is a beautiful thing and how God wants us to live. I am pretty sure I scared half of my group tonight with how honest I was, but it is so liberating and empowering! (and not to mention who I am and how God created me) You have so much to offer and God is using you even if you feel like you have failed. Don’t be discouraged girl, God is just working in your heart and all you need to do is listen and be patient. Just be who God made you.

    And girl please, you are mysterious and flirty! πŸ˜‰

    Love you!

  2. “I want to be like other girls – mysterious and flirty”

    It’s funny that you write that because that exactly what I thought about you…..I think sometimes it’s just easier to see our own messiness.

    But your vulunerbility to be a mess and be raw gives other women the confidence and the freedom to do the same because none of us are without our mess. And we are despite to be loved and accepted as a mess.

    Keep being a mess because it’s liberating for others. πŸ™‚

  3. and yet, the giant mess that you are is exactly what makes you beautiful. your fish is always going to die, your car will probably keep on breaking down. you will probably always be a mess, or at least you’ll feel like it. but your transparency, honesty, and pure heart and intentions are exactly what give you the beauty you desire. you just can’t see that you already have it… you are not masquerading. you are a princess, through and through, and your Daddy the King couldn’t be more proud.

  4. I am covered by the King.The love of a King has transformed me

    These are VERY powerful words….This really hit me as I read it. Living behind the mask is never what GOD intended for us, that is what The World has told us we have to do, put on a “happy face” “Smile though your heart is breaking” ok, stupid lyrics aside, when you are “real” GOD can use you best and it sure sounds like HE did. It is hard to show vulnerability because we are conditioned not to, but you are a strong, couragious young woman, you showed your true heart, the heart of Jesus to those other young women last night. Many times you have NO idea how impacting your words can be for others.

    I gave a talk many years ago at a retreat, wasn’t sure my “humour” was taken in my everyone but I had to let go of it. A couple years later, a friends sister, who had been at the retreat said to me that my sillyness had really driven the point home for her, she really understood what I was saying adn it opened the door for her to deepen her walk with Jesus. WHO knew? GOD does, we may never find out the impact of our work here until we are home at our Father’s side.

    You are such an AMAZING young woman, I love you SO much and I love that you write as honestly, from the heart as you do. I love you! Keep being the wonderful, muti-faceted jewel that you are.

    PS And remember, God has to train your Prince to be good enough to deserve you, to value you and to be the man of God he needs to be so he can be the man YOU need him to be. Just any old dude is NOT good enough! You ARE a PRINCESS, God’s annointed, favorite daughter, would the King allow just ANYONE to marry HIS daughter? I don’t think so!! YOur value is FAR above price! ANyway, getting off my soap box now….. Love you! Aunt J

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