Tonight I had the privilege of speaking at the first night of our young women’s community group. I talked about how we are new creations in Christ. The old has gone and the new has come. I rambled and bumbled my way through what I was trying to say – looking into the eyes of around thirty women. I so desperately wanted them to understand this beautiful message of Grace, of what it looks like to live this. Yet all I felt I did was confuse and distance them. I’m a mess. I’m a certifiable mess with nothing of my own to offer. Tonight more than ever I felt the profound impact of my messiness. Who am I to tell these girls how I’m living as a new creation? My car broke down, my fish died, I’m terrible at relationships and only hurt the ones I love, I’m too much drama, and not enough sense. What do I have to offer? Nothing. I have nothing to offer except a disfigured vessel that can only run to the Father for wisdom. I’m not used to having nothing to offer. At least, I’ve always perceived I have something to offer. Be it a listening ear, time for a coffee date, or a smile – I felt confident in my ability to bring something to the table. Now, to be honest, I’m terrified. My mask is off and my messiness is there for all to see. I want to be like other girls – mysterious and flirty. A puzzle to figure out and a damsel to be won. And yet for whatever reason, the Lord has called me to take off my mask and live out of my raw skin. The beauty and the blemishes, the good and the bad, the charming and the revolting. All of it. For the world to see. I feel like I’ve been revealed for the phony that I am – as a pauper masquerading as a princess. In the midst of it all, though, I feel the love of the King. I feel His tender gaze and the warmth of His covering. There is no shame in coming before Him as a pauper. There is no shame in the weakness and the messiness. There is no shame. So now begins the process of that covering being enough to define me. I am covered by the King.The love of a King has transformed me. It’s time to live like that.