The Loudness in Silence Day 4

I don’t have much to say today. The silence in the car is getting better. I’m still having quiet moments with the LORD and I’ve noticed that when I do let myself have music on, it sometimes feels like more of annoyance. I’m starting to get annoyed that I can’t hear my own thoughts. Facebook is again, more of a struggle. I miss the feeling of connection I have. I did find myself panicking this evening wondering what would happen if someone urgently needed to get ahold of me and the only way they could do it was via Facebook. So I took a few minutes and delved into the anxiety. Where was it really coming from? The answer – fear. Fear that I’m a fool, fear that I’m not wanted and I’m acting like I am, fear, fear, fear. Which is SO ironic because yesterday my quiet time was focused on the issue of worry. Both my devotion and the Scripture I read confirmed the issue of not worrying. It was completely unplanned and yet the LORD kept drawing me to passages about trusting Him. A verse that shows up a couple times in Scripture that makes me get teary every time I read it is: “…and your Father knows that you need them… for your Father has been please to give you the kingdom.” Luke 12:30b, 32b. It goes back to the very core of what I believe to be true about the heart of God. It pleases Him to give me the desires of my heart, when they line up with His will for my life. It pleases Him. Why do I think the very thing I believe He created to be special and unique about my heart is the very thing He will fail me on? And why do I feel that I’m coming away with more questions than answers in this season of silence?

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