The Loudness in Silence Day(s) 6 / 7

There has been no lack of noise in my life the last two days. But it has been fun noise. Energizing noise. The kind of noise where you sit and think, “ah ha! I have found the secret to life.” And now I’m sitting in my room in silence. The tapping noise of my fingers across the keyboards, crickets singing quietly outside my window, and the occasional car driving by are the soundtrack of my current evening. The cool mountain air is slightly blowing into my room and evening out the temperatures that seem to be mildly bipolar as of late. Today as I walked around a famers market in an older part of Colorado Springs with a dear friend, I mentioned I felt l’ve lived two lives here. And I have. I’m experiencing this city in a whole new way – with new community, a new heart, and a new understanding of life. I’ve always loved the mountains. They have always been my favorite thing about coming to the city. Whether driving or flying there is that moment when they first come into view. It never fails to take my breath away and get my heart to beat just a little bit faster. I remember watching them fade in my rear view mirror as I drove back to Nashville after my first Christmas break. And I remember crying when I moved back at the first sight of them – majestic and safe but a reminder of my failure and the fact that I no longer lived in the South. Yet while I have grown, changed, loved, lost, cried, and laughed, they have remained constant and steadfast. A testament to the power and steadiness of the God we serve. Eliminating the external noise that fails to bring Life has brought me back to that. Coming back to that is what quiets the internal noise I so long to shut off. There are still moments I fear diving into the depth of the questions I wrestle with, but the fear of being alone with my thoughts lessens each passing day. And I like that. I like there is space being created in my heart and mind to simmer in the levels of who I was created to be. It’s not quite as scary as it once was.

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