Two Years

It’s officially October 19. And for the last two years this day has been one of dread, reflection, and thankfulness.

How is it possible that the last year seems to have gone by faster than the first? I think maybe because I stopped counting the minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months, that I was back in Colorado. If you had told me a year ago where I would be today, I definitely would not have believed it. And that seems to be a trend in my life. I never believe where I am in a year’s time.

Over the last year I:

– celebrated my grandmother’s 80th birthday
– visited Nashville and closed a chapter
– ended a relationship
– met a boy
– lost a boy
– understood Grace and Love for the first time in my entire life.
– began to trust others with who I really am
– had friends get married
– had friends get pregnant
– went to Africa
– applied for what I thought was my dream job and was denied
– months later was offered my real dream job at the same company
– relived every single major wound with a different ending
– fell deeply, madly, and passionately in love with the LORD
– watched Scriptures spoken over me come to life
– was out dreamed by Papa
–  spoke at SOFA about my deepest woundings and the ONE who healed them all
– joined at Improv group
– got paid for Improv
– signed another modeling contract
– moved into a new house with a fantastic roommate
– enjoyed amazing community
– got a new car, my first car newer than 1999
– didn’t have any emergency surgeries (!!!!)
– grew closer to my family and friends

But most importantly moved from a heart of anger, to one of acceptance, to one of gratefulness that the LORD saved (and continues to save) me from myself. I can’t imagine my life being anywhere else the last two years. And I’d walk through this season over again if that’s what it took to understand the LORD’s heart for me.

Thank you, Papa. Thank you for loving me better than I could have imagined. Thank you for giving me a community who reflects your glory in ways I couldn’t know. Thanks for out-dreaming me. Thank you for wrecking my life in the best possible way so all I have is You.



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