In recent years there has been a phenomenon where any kid playing a sport gets a trophy. I don’t know about you all but when I was growing up, only the winners got trophies. Am I crazy or was this something helped breed a healthy sense of working hard for a prize? I know some parents were concerned their child was left out but the truth is, if you don’t win, you lose. You’re not almost a winner or the second place winner, you’re the loser. I’m not one to let failure define who we are but I’m also one who believes you need to fail to know how to succeed.
So many people are growing up getting consolation prizes that it cheapens the value of winning a trophy. But sometimes I wonder at the consolation prize? What’s it like to be offered as the thing that you get but don’t desire?
And I realized that so often, I feel like a consolation prize.
Ugh. I hate even writing that. Putting those words out there makes me feel incredibly vulnerable.
But it’s true. For so much of my life, I’ve felt and believed that I will end up being what someone gets but not what someone desires. I’ve felt this way about friendships and relationships. It’s often tempted me to settle for anyone or anything.
This season of life I find myself skeptical of people and their intentions. To be completely transparent, I primarily find myself skeptical of men. I am touring with two incredibly beautiful, God-fearing, amazing women and I find myself wondering if people only want to talk to me because they think I’ll hook them up with one of the girls.
I thought I was over dealing with some of these issues but it seems I’m right back where I started. Well, maybe not back where I started but not far from it. I have such a desire to be chosen. To be picked. To be desired. And while my heart and mind know that I have been chosen by the only One who matters, it doesn’t always replace that nagging voice that tells me I’m a consolation prize.
I guess I have to start believing that I’m a first place trophy, huh?