Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. 


The power of words has been particularly poignant to me lately. I’ve found myself dealing with the consequences of  lies someone said about me almost two years ago. Unbeknownst to me, these falsehoods carried into a relationship which unraveled into a very messy situation. It’s frustrating that these lies someone said can have a significant impact on my future. I am grateful Papa is in control of every single moment of my life. But that doesn’t always mean damage can be undone.

The words we speak can be full of life or death. Long after an argument is resolved or a fight is dissolved, words spit out in anger can haunt us. I still remember things kids said to me in elementary school, middle school, and high school. Those words echoed in my head for years. Cutting deeper and deeper the farther the roots went down.

The taunting and teasing, their own insecurities spewing forth, left wounds on my tender heart which bred lies which Papa had to clear out and start fresh on. All because they weren’t careful with their words. The power to bring death.

you’re too fat and slow to ever catch me

maybe if you put a bag over your face you could get a date to homecoming

no one will ever want to date you, so don’t even try

i know you have feelings for me, and it disgusts me. don’t think there is a chance for us. ever. 

if you lost 30 pounds you’d be attractive. 

And the words I said in return. The things I shouted back in my anger and frustration. I was a scared little girl who said things that I’m sure haunt people in the dark part of the night. I was just as terrible. My wall of protection coming up with such force it wounded anyone who got close. I was and continue to be far from perfect.

When I found a community who loved me, I started hearing the words of life. People speaking gently into my spirit. Their whispers soaking into my scarred heart like a salve. They began to say the things I had never been told.

you are talented. 

how did I get so lucky to have you?

I see Christ when I see you. 

You are wonderful and lovely. You are beautiful. 

We’re your biggest fans. We believe in You. 

Your love invites people to let you protect them.

Your impact on this world will always be more than you can grasp. 

You are Mine. 

And for every wound, twice as many truths were spoken into my heart. Love swirled up around me. Papa giving me community to remind me how He loves and who I am. The power to bring life.

As I move moment by moment on this journey, I’m learning how the words I speak can multiply and compound into something that with carry with another for ever. What are the words I want to echo in someone’s heart long after I’m gone? Words of wounding or words of healing?

you would have kept those words on your tongue
if you had known the hurt they have done.

i’d rather have sticks and stones, broken bones
than the words you say to me.
because I know bruises heal, cuts will seal
but your words will beat the life from me.

but what hasn’t killed has made me strong
so i’ll take my scars and move along.

goodbye is the best way that i know
to forgive and still be letting go.

i’d rather have sticks and stones, broken bones
than the words you say to me
because I know bruises heal, cuts will seal
but your words will beat the life from me.

words kill, words give life;
they’re either poison or fruit – you choose

(proverbs 18:21 – the message)


One thought on “Sticks and Stones

  1. We all are guilty of speaking words against another at one time or another. But a point to remember is that the significance and greatness of forgiveness is not for the one asking – it is for the one granting it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, it simply means you are letting them off the hook.

    But your blog is dead on. The words you speak are a gift to many that read it. May your blogging words always be His words. (Jeremiah 1:9).

    When someone speaks against you – remember that any curse or word that is spoken against you is always broken by the blessing.

    You are a blessing to everyone that reads this blog. And when anyone says something that may hinder your spirit – forgive them. You have way too much talent to let the enemy have a foothold in the gift (blogging, words, insight) that God has given you in this life.

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